OCD

OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - an anxiety disorder in which a person suffers from obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions, such as cleaning, checking, counting or hoarding. The person becomes trapped in behaviors that are senseless but hard to stop....

I like to think that everyone has a little OCD in their systems, that there is some small but ridiculous action that each person has to do throughout their day, every day. Maybe I think that to make me feel a little better, but I think it anyway. Sadly, I think I have a little more OCD in my system than most and to make it worse, I'm giving it to my girls!

For me it's cleaning and having things in just the right spot. I can go to bed with one dish soaking in the sink, that's it. If there's more than one dish I won't wash them all, I'll wash all but one. I also can't leave the house if it's messy. Before the store, church or any other errand I have to have the house cleaned. I also can't sleep if everything is not cleaned up and put in order. Sometimes when Wayne picks up the playroom I have to reorganize the toys to their rightful place that he just can't seem to remember. If he loads the dishwasher, that's wonderful, but I'm going to reload it correctly. Those are just a few of my OCD tendency's.

Here are my girls': for Jordyn it's all about cleaning and order. Her toys in her room, her shoes on her changing table and her books on the shelf, they all have a specific order. If moved even a tiny bit she can't rest until they're fixed. One night she couldn't come down to dinner until she had cleaned her room. Another night, tucking her in bed I heard her back out of it less than 30 secs later. I walked in ready to punish but found her cleaning her room, telling me she couldn't go to bed with anything messy. My child, at only 2, cannot handle mess or disorder....I wonder what she'll be like at 5, or 25?

For Landyn, who's still young to be showing too many signs, it's all about being clean and order as well. She loves to pick things up and put things away. Too many toys on the floor means it's time to pick up, even when Mommy doesn't say so. And of course, being clean while eating. She can't have any mess on her tray or hands or she's refusing to eat. Now that she feeds herself it's a nightmare. While eating cereal this morning she dripped every bite of course, and so after every bite she refused to take another until she had wiped up her tray...my not even 1.5 year old.

Sometimes I think maybe it's just a healthy sense of cleanliness, that's always good. Other times I see how it holds me up, or them up, causing us not to participate and other activities because our house isn't clean enough, always making us late and I think..."What in the world have I done?"

Since I'm sure when they're older and they realize their compulsion they're going to blame me for it, I might as well do the same. My mom gave me my OCD....it's not my fault! :)